


Do I Wanna Know?

by aeoleus



Series: Challenges [3]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Anyway if y'all wanna know where I got those little quirks from, Do I Wanna Know?, John is in so deep y'all, Let's just say I'm currently in John's position, M/M, Pining, So so so deep, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-08
Updated: 2017-09-08
Packaged: 2018-12-25 05:53:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12029538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aeoleus/pseuds/aeoleus
Summary: Did Alex know, laying there in Laf's old sweatshirt, head bobbing along to whatever song he was humming, that he had so selfishly taken up all of John's thoughts so that his math homework lay on the counter, utterly forgotten about?Alternatively titled: John's pining.





	Do I Wanna Know?

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place somewhere on Winter Break during my main work "The Challenges We're Facing". 
> 
> It's long, but this could really be a stand alone piece. All u gotta know: John is in love with Alex. John doesn't know if Alex likes him back. Cue John feeling pretty torn up inside.

Have you no idea that you're in deep? 

I dreamt about you nearly every night this week. 

* * *

 

John was pining.   
Like, literally pining.   
Like a hormonal fifteen year old who can't stop thinking about her crush pining.

To quote himself groaning his problems to Laf, "He's literally taken over my brain."

And really, how could he not?

Alex was....everything.   
Alex had this one piece of hair that never lay flat, though he was constantly trying to press it down.   
Alex had these eyes that lit up when you got him on a subject he loved.   
Alex always slammed his hands on the dash of the car when he saw something beautiful, and yelled it out to John. "Look at the fucking moon, John. Have you ever seen such beauty?" (Alex often said the same thing with a crooked smile and raised eyebrow when he was staring at himself in the car mirror, but John was much less likely to agree verbally in that case.)   
Alex was clingy and every time he wrapped himself around John or reached for his hand, or ran his hands through his curls, John's heart began to thump in his chest.   
Alex had this smile that made John smile too. 

And Alex was hot and cold some days, and John hated how his mood depended on whether Alex texted back quickly and seemingly enthusiastic, or with one word replies hours later. 

In fact, John hated many things about Alex.   
He hated how Alex could say one stupid thing, like commenting on how soft John's hair was, and John wouldn't be able to stop thinking about it for days.   
He hated how Alex got so wrapped up in a project, so passionate about what he was doing.   
He hated how terrified he got when Alex was being reckless, how John would lose all common sense when Alex was sick or in danger which tended to be often. 

John hated how Alex had complete control over him.

John stared at him across the room. Alex was laying on the floor with a textbook, humming to himself and making notes in the margins. Did he really have no idea how in deep John was? How terrified John was that Alex would break his heart? How John could rarely lay down at night without thinking about having Alex by his side, one arm thrown over his chest, pressed into John's side? Did Alex really not know that at once, John was desperate to know if Alex shared these feelings, but terrified to ever ask him and truly hear his answer. Did he know, laying there in Laf's old sweatshirt, head bobbing along to whatever song he was humming, that he had so selfishly taken up all of John's thoughts so that his math homework lay on the counter, utterly forgotten about?

So yeah.   
John was pining.   
And he wasn't sure he'd ever be able to stop. 


End file.
